i had a pretty interesting talk with my parents today. it started around midnight and ended at 2 AM. it was about religion, science, mortality and the reason we exist. lots of stuff to think about, but it was pretty interesting. towards the end of the conversation, i realized something pretty important about the state of mind, and how we often perceive what "heaven" or the afterlife feels like.
i was talking to my mom about religious clarity and how heaven gets stale at some point, to which she said "never. we'd be in pure clarity. the truth would be revealed, and there wouldn't be the reason to question anymore.". now, i was very dissatisfied with this answer. this mystical concept that all of our questions would be put to an ease magically is simply unrealistic. but then i started to think a little bit about how it feels before death.
you don't need to have all the answers, you just need to be content with what answers you have. i believe socrates once said, "all i know is that i know nothing", and that is true. we, in our vast, almost limitless universe, know practically nothing about our existence. and yet, in the conformity of our answers, we must seek to find this interior peace. to accept that we are too small, but that our pursuit is what gives us hope, is to be in clarity. it's this moment where you feel that life is over. you've lived a lot, but not enough. and in that time spent alive, you've lived all you had to, and you're satisfied.
my grandfather passed away 2 years ago, 1 day before my father's birthday. he was devastated when he heard the news. but my grandpa went in peace. and in his peace, he held my grandmother's hands in his own and died. i thought about this for a while when we were talking, me and my parents. but my answer came quickly, i'd say. he was free, and he acknowledged that and passed without pain, but in the arms of his love. it's that satisfaction, that conformity that everything is over and you had a wonderful life. that's clarity. that's the ease. and that's what we strive to achieve.