to preface: i'm in a discord server and some people there are grinding towards having the green counter of hours in a voice chat display 1000 hours. this was previously attempted, but did not succeed. at the time of writing this, it's on 746 hours.
pictured: an image of a counter at 746:06:29 hours
suddenly, the hand of divine inspiration wiped the tears off my face, basked me in its gentle light and blessed me to write this post. see, something that we don't give a lot of credit to is time. how much time is in time? it's a silly question, but one that we must ask ourselves as to understand the nature of our existence. every second, upwards of a trillion synapses happen in your brain. each of these carry from the most basic instinctual actions to the most complex of train thoughts. it doesn't matter who you are and what you do, this will always be true. and like, that's so crazy. imagine the amount of stuff that happens in your brain. how those synpases move inside our biology. like, what even had to happen for you to be born? such a small chance for your life to be granted, for your person to be here! approximately 1.5 people die of suicide per minute. 107 people die of any cause per minute. you're such a small chance in such a vast world, your existence is equivalent to a miracle! and this got me wondering how much credit we really give to life, how much we miss because we believe in these lies of hopelessness and desperation. there's so much to be, so much to do, so much to think. there's no reason not to do any of those things.
the world sucks. putting it in this way is a more euphemistic view of what it truly is. children starve; countries fight in an endless war looking to satiate their desire for power; discourse increases as the hands of the clock caress each line of the second. and yet you stand here, alive. be glad! not because of the fear mongering i accidentally just did, not because of the people who aren't you, but because you exist in such a world where almost anything is possible. we've travelled to space, discovered and used the most fundamental understandings of our universe and developed technologies so advanced that the entire world is capable of intercommunication. and though you may feel small compared to your peers, let it be known it's all lies. you're no less than anyone. in fact, i can bet real money that you're better than a good chunk of the world. there's so much love to give, so much caring that you can do. and don't feel forced! you're the one in your own skin, after all. the world is so much more than this competition we live in, this dystopian, corporate, capitalist world. you have the power to make your own world. be who you want to be. learn what you want to learn. do what you want to do. some ideas we have are quite naive, sure, but who says we can't go after them? it's about living your life doing what you want to do. which is why it's important to take breaks and to not stay stuck in a single thing! we need to give ourselves the time and the space necessary for healthy maintenance.
i recently visited one of the biggest churches in the world with family. it's like, an hour drive from my city. we took a tour around the dome of the basilica, and i was fascinated by how much symbolism there was in each and every inch and corner of the temple's walls. and i was left only with a single statement in my head: there's so much to learn. our universe expands 15 billion light years away from us. we humans have existed for 600 million years. the earth has existed for much, much longer. we are so small that it opens the possibility for a lifetime of learning. we exist in such a fantastic era. science advances with each and every day, quantum technology is in the rising, sustainable alternatives to power sources are actively being developed and medicine is in its golden age. and yet there's still more to uncover! you can just go learn anything on the internet nowadays. libraries are available with tons of resources written by hand, stories forged in passion and life store every corner of our lives, we can just practically do anything. though you require money to do a bunch of these things and it is true that economies rise and fall each day, we're still able to persevere each and every day to see the world go forward. it's so hard to look at only our tragedies, and yet the world is mostly wonders.
i've struggled with depression for a good chunk of my life. because these gut-wrenching things that happen all over the world are just exhausting. it's very easy to fall for this hopeless narrative we see each day of our lives. but there's so much to do, so much to be in every inch of our lives. write your weird, exquisite prose! draw your silly fantasy characters! write your absurdist compositions! teach your findings! spread your knowledge! there is no reason not to live your life to the fullest. to not have hope. you have nothing to lose from being you. and it's okay if you don't do things every second! but our time is so precious that it's quite impossible to not notice that we are beautiful. you're beautiful, reader. i'm beautiful. we're all wonderful. take the time to appreciate your existence. if you cannot see your wonders, look deep inside your heart. you don't need to be the next da vinci to be beautiful, such so that you already are. we talk a lot about potential, potential. yet we can do anything. go learn. go live your life to the fullest. this is like, a hopepost full of all the things that i believe are so necessary to say, but that we often do not hear.
i want to end this post with a little experience that i've had, because life isn't only wonders. do you remember that server i talked about earlier? i feel very out of place in it. so much so that i often completely isolate myself from the rest of the other members. it's a lot of complicated issues and a lot of bottling up that lead to that sort of thing. but like, sometimes it feels stupid. feels stupid to fear, to cry, to be sad. i then snap myself back to reality. nothing truly is stupid, that's just concepts that we believe are worthless to spend time upon. but every nook and cranny of life is an experience and an opportunity to learn. sure, some things feel like they really didn't need to happen, but it's good to appreciate that when it happens, you learn something new. you become a better version of yourself every day (or at least i hope you do, reader). you don't need to be perfect, after all, no such thing exists. we may visualize something better, but that's because there's always something better. but there isn't something better than you. your appearance, your mind, all unique to you. there isn't something better than you. i love you. thank you for reading.