as the new year approaches, i decided to try and make a post to make coherent sense of who i am. a lot of posts here are part of me, but there are parts of me who don't fit in certain categories of posts. now, you may have seen that most of these posts don't actually appeal to a general audience. this is because i don't appeal to a general audience. none of my posts are actually very interesting if you don't want to know me. which i know is a majority of my readers. but it happens, you know. comes with the title of being you(h).
my name came from after i ended one of my relationships. you might not know this, but i have a whopping 6 exes. wow! this is because i was very immature, insecure and hormonal. all of these are a combination that is a sure fire way to destroy someone. as a result, i went through like 10 years in a single year and it was the worst thing ever when it happened. but anyways, back to the origin of my name: i was already looking for some sort of nonbinary name for a while - because, frankly, being a trans woman stopped fitting me - so i settled on something that felt like me. the name youh stuck to me because that's me. that's you. and with an h. the kirisame surname came from my at the time profile picture of marisa kirisame from the touhou series.
i'd say i'm a very dedicated person. dedicated to the art and the craft of each one of my works. though my primary existing works are on the grounds of computer science and mathematics, i dedicate myself to the art of writing. i know a lot more theory than what i put out on paper, which sometimes makes me sound like i'm extremely selfish when i criticize a work of art, or makes me seem like i'm glazing[1] the person too much. this tends to happen quite a lot with some works i appreciate, but all of my criticism comes from the heart and is not meant to be taken as insult when negative.
i'm not a very impressive person. i don't consider myself smart at all, though that's what i've been told my entire life. the problem is that to me, this is all just normal. but i often forget that not all people think like me, and like, knowing a bunch of stuff is actually pretty darn impressive in the eyes of some. it's a feeling that i probably won't be able to shake ever, but it happens. most of the things in life just happen, you kind of have to go around them. not everything happens the way you want it to, so you gotta like adapt yourself around it, maybe even accept these things instead of avoid them. it all comes down to how we really take things into our own hands.
sometimes i struggle a lot with post ideas. in the first post, i mentioned how extremely boring my days are. and i'm not wrong! and sometimes, those days are so boring, i'll struggle to write about anything. it's not the people that make it boring, but some days just really pass. they're just days, y'know. nothing really makes me remember them. this post was originally meant to come out on the 30th, but due to some bad planning on my end, it came out today. on the 30th, i gifted my friend 4 games, and bought 11 for me. the steam winter sale truly is a blessing. and like, this isn't a day to forget! this day was really nice! but it felt like it just passed, y'know. i'll write a post on time soon enough.
but yeah, that's all i can think of right now. maybe i'll make another post of me running out of blog ideas. i'll see y'all!! :]
[1]to overly compliment someone.